What did the blind lady say to her cat? Nothing she doesn't have a cat.

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

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Q: If a midget walks by a woman stops and says "your hair smells nice today" is it sexual harassment? A: Yes, sexual harassment is a very serious subject and should not be allowed no matter your race, religion, or size.

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Q. Name six animals that live in the north pole A.Four polar-bears and two penguins

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

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The.

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

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How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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what did Santa Claus say to Nikki Minaj? I really admire your musical talents

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Romeny or Obama? Obamney

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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Knock knock! Whose there? ... The person who was knocking suffered a fatal shot to the back of the head by a drive by shooter, if the person at the door had just opened it, instead whose there? (...which no one does anyways...) The knocker may have survived. He had a wife and 5 kids, 3 Grandkids.

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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Why did the black guy go to jail? Because he committed an illegal crime.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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What makes the antijokes on this site funny? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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