What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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What did the racist black man say to the white man? Nothing they both died in a car accident.

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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this guy didnt get any pussy last night so go easy on him I I I V

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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What's the meaning of life? I don't know.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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An Irish man walked into a bar. He turned to the bartender and said hello. Then walked to the back booth for his lunch meeting with the heads of his highly profitable company and then went home.

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Three blonds walk into a bar ... They said ouch!

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Mexicans are inferior because! BEECUZ! Listen buddy, to be honest, I get girls every now and then because I am what they all want me to be, myself. You are a great friend as far as I am concerned, and I care a lot about you considering I saw you once like... 13 years ago, but I do not spend an entire night chatting with someone on horsehead network out of all things unless that person means a lot more than sex for me... Hell, if I did not feel that nice about you, I would not even have wanted to, and that sounds really awkward for a guy like me to say, believe me, you wont be losing a friend. AS LONG AS YOU KEEP GIVING IT TO ME! I am joking, but this is who I am (sadly) I have many female friends, and yeah well, some I well you know, I am just not the kind of guy that listens to girls sob stories, and pretend to be their gay best friend, while I watch someone bad ass come and bang her... Nah, I am more like that bad ass banger, except I dont break girls hearts afterwards. Seriously, I am really fond of you, to the point where I will say something guys mostly do not say: If you are feeling pressured into stuff, then dont do it, you wont be losing a friend, I wanna spend an intimate night with you (day, shower, on the breakfast table all that) but thats because I really like you, we have built some intimacy in pretty short time if you ask my opinion... See? Now I am being honest and leaving myself vulnerable, and I do that because I honestly care about you.

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tennis grunts . . . no different from sex noises

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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Q:what did a keppy kid with a big nose say A:hi im josh Roberts

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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