What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two jewish men walk into the butcher shop. They buy a pound of ground beef and nothing else.

thumb_up thumb_down -182

A: knock knock B: the door is open, why don't you come right in?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

gesss what happen u promis not to tell anyone ok this is what happen !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was little Timmy so fast? Because he's tied up in the trunk of a speeding car.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did reed read? the most recent anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you cross drugs with a bathtub? Whitney Houston's worst nightmare

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do we stop world hunger? We must first ask ourselves: why don't people eat?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

roses are red violets are blue i'll be back in an hour or two

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

thumb_up thumb_down +13

you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

your a vagina says you, you're a tit

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you get when you post the same thing a million times? Hate

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Who is the girl that has had sex with over 10 guys? Georgia Hidi

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's big and white and can't climb trees? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +316

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Itookasipasoda

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops