Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area.

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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Dumb

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Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

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What's Mexico's favorite sport? Cross Country

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Joseph Fritzl.

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Knock knock Who there? A mute Bullshit

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How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

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Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks... ...into an alleyway to have a quick smoke before entering the bar his friends went in.

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In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

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So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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How many chickens does it take for a cow to count on Tuesday? The same reason a horse got fired for seven plus one blue red green.

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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Person 1: have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Person 2: No i havent Person 1: Neither did she

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rent a cops

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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