Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

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- Wanna see a magic trick? - Sure - Too bad. I don't know any.

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Why did the Mexican stop mowing the family's lawn? Because he felt it was time for his son to learn some responsibility.

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Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

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We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

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knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

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Cancer.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Your momma so fat, she's fat

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What did the korean guy order at the deli? A sandwich

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Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear was the one who started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would have

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A boy tells his teacher, "I want to be like hitler when I grow up and kill all the jews and one clown." The teacher replies, "Why the clown?" The boy says, "See no one cares about the jews."

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how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

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Will you marry me?

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

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Your time.

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Your momma's so fat, when Jesus said, "Let there be light!," she had to scoot over.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? T get to the other side of the road

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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