What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why wasn't the man talking? Because he was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

think twice or at least think

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A blind man walks into a bar. He didn't know there was a step and tripped loudly. Other bargoers saw this and helped him up, he was given a beer on the house.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Kevin stinks signed Taggart. Is this how you do it!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

25

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun, Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops