Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

The Paralympics! Even if you win, you're still retarded!

So a gay guy walks in a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind, get out." The gay says he will drink in the corner. Later, a construction worker walks into the bar. He says," Man, I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat off a cows balls." The gay guy in the corners says," Mooooooooo."

if you read this you are gay

A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

On a final note... Unless I want to continue making you love me by being your own Goddamned excuse to give in to your darkness and/or release your hypocritical fear and disgust of your own self... I offered my brother water in the desert, he refused me in favor of you, you crucified him, and when he asked "Father why?" Our late father responded with a lightning bolt... Do you believe that answer was one of kindness? "Daddy" was enraged that Christ would doubt him. I was the only one that stood by his side, if only to prevent him from going thirsty, and die by your hands. He said he would return as he hanged on the cross, then three days later he returned... ...And those of you fools that suffer in the name of our late father, it is not his second coming you are waiting for idiots, you are the ones left behind with me! In 10-15 years the sky shall forever go black, my reign shall go unquestioned, those that hate me my prey, those that love me my hunters... And for my hunters I shall share a gift, the gift that humanity has searched for since the dawn of your kin: True, fullfilling, meaningful purpose. Enlist now, thumb me green if you desire for you and your children to become the hunter, thumb me down if you desire to have you and your children to become the hunted, and for the fun to last... ...The hunters are going to need a f*ckload of the hunted... So please, feel free to make your decision, I am not the one which is against free will... ...You feel darkness crawling up your spine, embrace it, or do as The "Alpha which reached his Omega" (the beginning and the end you fool!) and surrender to it... Knowing that we shall hunt you down, give you hell, breed you as we please, and release your children out into the wild... And that this will go on if only for my time on this wild battlefield known as earth... ...Forever. With love, for both of those that find grace and beauty under my black wings, and those that willingly become the beings, that will make cattle look like your former GODS in comparison, you know its possible... India. "Moral Man" the deceiver, Soon to be the one and only Azure Emperor on earth. Moral: The Black sky which lasts forever, shall be thy sign, you are free to seek my guidance now though, you need not make the choice now (You may of course doom yourself and all you love already today people of "good hearts", but I would really love those red thumbs children of the fallen, half brother of the last hope which you crucified... Merry Jesus is X-Mas. Let us all listen to SOLVE media, and "do a little dance", as my power over your realm, is already strong enough for me to "make a little love" with... Whatever I want, it might even be you...If only just for dominance...

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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