If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What does a black guy and an apple have in common? They're both apples except for the black guy

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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Hello

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What abou three times

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender refuses to give the woman alcohol because he acknowledges a health risk for her unborn child.

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Q)A man and a women are hiking on a mountain trail. A bear appears. What do they do? A) Die.

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Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

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roses are grey violets are grey im color blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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If u and I jumped off a cliff..who would land first? who cares..

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: None. It is a sick and depraved act that is probably illegal anyway.

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the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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whats a great gift to share with small children? Ebola

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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