What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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your fat

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8=>

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I hate when Harry Potter showers in my Potatoes....

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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a guy had 6 fingers& every1 called him john.y????? bcaz his name was john

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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12

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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What do black people eat for breakfast? Cereal.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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