Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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What do you call a blonde in a library? Lost

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

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What do you call a Icelandic man? A guy who lives in a snowhouse with a elevator

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... Unless your colour blind.

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Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

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Roses are black, violets are black, we are all black Shit i'm colour blind

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What's blue paint and smells like red paint? Paints

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Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

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i have yougurt mit traktor

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One day in Africa there was a family of Americans touring an African village. They were a happily married couple with a four year old son. This day however was a very sad day because a group of elephants came trampling through the village. The couple left there kids inside and went to help control the elephants. however the elephants killed them all with their feet. Now the little boy wandered outside because after all he was just a little boy. He was about to be killed when a baby elephant calmed down his mom, so he saved his life. The baby elephant then took the little boy back to the airport by which the married couple came because elephants are very smart. The boy didnt want to leave his new found friend the baby elephant but the little boy was then sent back and lived with his Uncle. When he was older, he had a child of his own, a little boy. One day he decided to take his son to a circus, that was from Africa. He didnt realize there would be elephants there. This day the elephants got spooked by a mice and started to stomp all around. Then the man realized his son was missing. He looked down to find his son about to be stomped on by this old elephant. Just as the elephant was about to stomp he and the man made eye contact. The man thought noticed the look in that elephants eyes, like he reconized them. He thought mabye, just mabye it was the same elephant he was saved by. Turns out it wasn't and the elephant killed his son.

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Why are anti jokes so funny? Because their not.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, it's really nice.

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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No.

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Q: What do you get when you throw a piece of bread in the oven? A: 6 million Jews

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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