What do you call a girl who disappears on the 3 May 2007? Madeleine McCann

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How do you know a French guy has been in your back yard? Your thrash cans are empty and your dog's pregnant

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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what did the guy say to the other guy? nothing because right before he was going to say something he was hit by a truck and got knocked out for 11 hours and right before he was going to wake a plane crashed into the hospital and everybody died except for two gay guys.

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Double rainbow? What does it mean? Well, a "double rainbow" is a phenomenon of optics that displays a spectrum of light due to the sun shining on droplets of moisture in the atmosphere. Does that explain it?

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

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whats an orphans favorite memory? Not one with his/her parents! PWNED TO ALL YOU ORPHANS OUT THURRRRR!!!!

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A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia Poem make YOU!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got mercifully trampled by a nearby 18 wheeler.

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Two People runs into a bar. They were thirsty.

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Q: What is the difference between a Ginger and a shoe? A: A shoe has a sole

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Did you hear about the guy who got all of his left side cut off?! He died of blood loss and permanent damage to his vital organs.

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

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when i go to a nude beach people think im looking for lost jewelery and treasure

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irish wristwatch JLR

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what do you call a man with no legs? disabled.

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops