Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Q: How do you know your gay? A: When you have unexpected desires for men, which is a sin to a religion, so the choice of being gay is against the bible and you would soon be sent to the pit of fire we call hell.

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Is your refrigerator running? No. That is highly improbable because a refrigerator has no arms or legs, also a refrigerator is not a human being, or alive in any manor and therefor cannot be moved with out an external force acted upon it.

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what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

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Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a motorboat. They are sucked into the propeller and brutally disfigured instantly.

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a date-rapist

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

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What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

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Why did the man get ran over by th STREET? Because he crossed the TURTLE!

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who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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A Boy went up to his dad and told him he was hungry. His dad then beat him to death.

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Person 1: You know whats funny? Person 2: No! What? Person 1: A joke!

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What did Frieza say to Vegeta after killing his parents? "I killed your parents."

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

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What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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