roses are red violets are blue I'm ADHD oh look, a squirrel

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How does a black guy die? Unknown

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you get when you cross a bungie cord and an owl? My ass :)

thumb_up thumb_down -36

why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapeled on to the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding Osama Bin Ladan in your refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Win and Beau have no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A black guy , a white guy and a jew walk into a resturaunt They are offered the special.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Yo mama is so stupid... She didn't graduate high school.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What happened to the Jew with a boner that ran into a wall? He broke his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Stephen Hawking can walk

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a man named Cornelius? Well, he prefers to go by his middle name, Eric, because he was teased as a child for being named Cornelius.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the irishman, the englishman and the african man die? because i went on a violent killing spree, murdering everyone i saw

thumb_up thumb_down -10

so...um, yeah

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops