ugvvvvvv

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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What has many legs, but can't walk? A dead spider.

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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whenever you come out of emma browns bedroom

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Penis

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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What do you call an animal that is blue, fluffy and lives in the arctic? I don't know and that's why I'm asking you.

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These anti-funny jokes are so funny, i realized that i would like to read another one

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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Whats the difference between chris and a party. the locations

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What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

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What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

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What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

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Did you hear about the guy who got run over? Me neither

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whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! 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I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

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Yo mama so stupid She took in part of an experiment and was indeed proclaimed stupid.

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I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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