Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

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How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

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What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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why did the dog bark at the picture because it was ugly

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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What fires shots? A gun

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Why didn't the cheese buy a house plant? Cheese is nonliving and therefore cannot earn money, thus preventing cheese from buying houseplants.

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What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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A ginger rapping.

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Knock, knock -Who's there? Help -Help who? Im dying of lukemia

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Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

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What would you find if you shaved chuck norris's beard? A chin.

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If I have a penny, and I give it to Michael Jackson, What will he do with it? Nothing. He's dead.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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A man walks into a bar and the barenter says, "What'll it be?" The man says, "I'll take a Bud Light."

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Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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