Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Ask me if I'm a tree... Are you a tree? No.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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what happened to the black guy after he turned off the light? he probably wanted to save energy, so he moved to a different room with natural sunlight as a light resource.

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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how do demolish a building alkekwhakbar

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A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

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what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

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What did the dead baby say to horse? Nothing, it was dead

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why was the bunny black? because it was born this way baby

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If i have a remote that can switch people to mute, the number 1 people will be asian, and it will be on the train.

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Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

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Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

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A black man approaches a customer service desk and asks for help. He is racially discriminated and receives no help with his problem.

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A guy trips a blind man.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

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Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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