How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Like my post because I have no friends And then don't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you get a clown to stop smiling Kill him

thumb_up thumb_down +186

Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

White men's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How much did the Holla Cost?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Person 1: today my doctor said I'm dyslexic Person 2: oh yeah? Are you ahdd too?

thumb_up thumb_down -58

The original Superman: Cruelty! Do you remember the original superman color movies? Like when he just deflected lasers bombs fire and bullets, he threw busses, spun around the world, was completely immune to anything but kryptonite and then... (pls dont hate) ...Fell of a horse and became a complete cripple?

thumb_up thumb_down -79

What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding an apple in your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

balls

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -7

balls

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops