Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

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A boy called Justin bieber fell down a hole and died

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Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

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An american, a brit and a mexican are on a plane. The brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!". The mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!". The american proceeds to throw the mexican out of the plane. "Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the brit. The american turned around. "He killed my wife."

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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How did the soup lose his job? He got fired.

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How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

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Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

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Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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your mother is so fat that she eats a lot of high fat foods.

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How many black ppm does it take to screw in a light bulb All of them, plus 1 white guy.

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Womens Basketball.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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What do you get when you divide 60000 by 30? A Number

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What do you call a man with no penis? WOahMan! O_o

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Why are white people white? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are black people black? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are Mexicans so tan? Cuz they were in the sun too long at birth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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