A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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Knock, Knock Who's There

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

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Q: What were little Jonathon's grandmas last words before dying of Alzheimer's? A: Who are you?

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Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died

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Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

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What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

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A man was shot. He died.

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Refridgerator.

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How do you get rid of herpes? You shoot up the cancer ward of a hospital.

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Why didn't junior say thank you for his christmas present from his dad? He was raised by two moms

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A guy orders soup at the resturant and says to the waiter, "will you try this soup?" The waiter says "what is it too hot?" the guy says "just try the soup." the waiter asks "Is it too cold?" the guy sais just try the soup." the waiter says "fine, where's the spoon?" AHAHHH!!!

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Why do Kenyans run so much? Because they like it.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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How did the blind man escape the mugger? He ran into a bus.

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What's worse than shoveling dead babies??? Using a pitchfork...

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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