I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why are the British so uptight? I don't think they are.

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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

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How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

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What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

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baskets

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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penis

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your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

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OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

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What is more worse than death? Death

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Baseball

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Why couldn't Sally climb up the ladder? Because she was a paraplegic.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

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The elephant and the mouse was gonna go swimming at the lake, but they realize the Elephant forgot his swimming trunks! Mouse: Do you really need two trunks? Elephant: Oh well I can do with this one... but its not a swimming trunk! Mouse: Huh? Moral: Huh?

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What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

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Justin Bieber got laid

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

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a dog walks into a drug store and orders a bone. what does the cashier do? she wakes up.

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Your dad is so fat, that eventually he got on Biggest Loser and ended living a very successful life.

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In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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