So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Can you guess the following words? Boo*s s*x *orn g*y cu*t b*tch Answers: Books, six, horn, guy, cult, batch.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black person who has fallen? an ambulance

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What city likes baseball the most? New York

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A devout Christian dies. Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Fags aren't allowed in Heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

whats worse than fining 7 dead babies in 1 trash can? finding 1 dead baby in 7 trashcans!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A young man spent his summer as an intern at a school. He eventually became a real estate agent but it was a pretty cool experience.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -146

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your momma;s so fat she stepped on the scale and said one at a time please!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whos the best Jewish Cook? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

1,2,3,4,5... 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the difference between Obama and Hitler? One is the President of the United States The other is a fascist dictator that killed millions.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's brown and smells like poop? A monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops