mommy, mommy, the ice cream man is coming can i have a dollar? sure sweetie. YAY! Goes up to ice cream truck, ice cream man asks what would you like little boy, would you like chocolate, vanilla, str.... Ice cream man steals small boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I'm gonna say something that is going to blow you(away). My Rape Dungeon has carpet.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? It followed a trail of bird feed that was strewn across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the African boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he celebrates Kwanza.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? well it depends on the size of the bathtub - and the size of the babies, for sure.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? The same number it would take people with any other hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a clothing store, he calls his wife, buys a shirt, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Have you ever noticed how those little packets of sweetner are really handy to have around when you like your coffee to be sweeter than its default bitterness?

thumb_up thumb_down

It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops