Two Naked men jump off a cliff. Three months later, an entire pack of Cub Scouts were enrolled in group therapy. It's ongoing.

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Q:why did i cross the road A: time to get a watch

Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

Why did the fall off the building? ... because I pushed her

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

A man is flailing his arms in the ocean. Help me, I'm drowning!, he screams. Some dude runs into the water, drags the man out, and is proclaimed a Hero.

Why was the black man out of a job? because he was recently laid off and had not found any job offerings that he would be interested in

How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

Priest: "Matt, will you take Senae to be your wife, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish her friendship and love her today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor her, laugh with her and cry with her? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?" Matt: No

What is the difference between a black man and a white man? The pigment in their skin.

A man walks into a bar. Except it was a metal bar, like a pole. So he got hurt.

What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

Dont read this joke

why couldn't the little boy sleep? he was being tortured.

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

When Rocky teased Johnny by saying : 'Your momma is so fat , she looks like a hippo.' , He did not know Johnny's mother was suffering a terminal glandular problem combined with an agressive cancer..

Whats worse than 2 babies in a trashcan. 1 baby in 2 trashcans

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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