Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

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What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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How come the twin boys wanted to climb a tree for fun today? Because They both wanted to commit suicide...

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What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

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Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

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Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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A jew walks into an Oven....

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

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Gues what makes me smile Mouth muscles

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

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What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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Your Mom

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What the difference between a alien and you nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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Do you know what my favorite rhetorical question is?

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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A blonde goes to school, and completes a difficult math problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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