Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Knock Knock Who? Knock Knock (:

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What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? Peppers help strengthen his immune system.

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Facebook How i met my mother

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam all get on the same flight. About half-way through an engine begins to smoke and stutters to a halt. Fortunately, the pilot has been trained for these situations and lands the aircraft safely.

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When is the right time to have sex with a 16 year old? After consent from her parents

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

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why did the old man lose his hair Because he had cancer and needed kimmo therapy

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Dad: hi son Kid: (looks sad and looks at the ground) Dad: what's wrong son. Kid:I raped a girl. Dad:Who? Did you rape son! Kid:mom.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting brutally sodimized and murdered by a serial rapist.

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Why was six afraid of seven? He was wanted for murder.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

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Yo mama so fat!... we are very concerned for her health.

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How to find if your overweight? Ask your friend to make a big clay volcano, out of baking soda and vinegar. While its erupting if you're too busy eatin five course dinner. FAT

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops