What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black man burned down my house. It was on minecraft you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What has wheels and flies? A wheel that I have altered so it can fly

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the vegitarian order for brunch. VEGITARIANS DONT BELIEVE IN ICE CREAM>

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why didn't the boy finish the race? He was handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

2 gay guys walk into the bar guy #1 say lets get drunk guy #2 says lets get wasted then #1 says... what do they do fall on the floor and do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

a plane crashes on the boarder of america and mexico where do you bury the survivors. you dont bury the surviors

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Yo mama's so fat that when she goes into a clothing store, she often feels self-conscious about having to buy larger than average clothing sizes than most people.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats a movie? A moving picture.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

thumb_up thumb_down -4

knock knock who`s there me oh come in

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops