Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

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A snake walks into a bar

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The game!

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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NOTICE: If you have noticed this notice then you will have noticed this notice is not worth being noticed

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

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Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

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A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

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Why did Jorge eat Larry's face? He was on bath salt.

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"Really, how is your wife?" "You know she's dead right?" "Cool mine too!" They high five in mid air and lived happily ever after

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why did the kid get in trouble. Because he put this up in typing class -charles hall aka chuckles

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Why do blind people laugh at this joke? Because they can't read it and everyone else is laughing.

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what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

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What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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