What's 9 + 10 19

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Knock Knock! Who's there? What do you mean... we have been having a conversation for a half hour now... that's your name you idiot, Knock Knock!

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whats the difference between justin beiber and a gay guy? both guys and girls like gay guys

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing.

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Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

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do you want to hear a joke 123456789 987654321 boo!

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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Penis

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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Why does an elephant lay on it's back with its feet in the air? To trip birds.

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

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Why did the man have an erection? He had just masturbated.

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what do you get when you cross a pig with a bunny? Nothing.Crossing a pig with a bunny is impossible.

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poetry

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Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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Unflushed Shit...

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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