A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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what is darker than black?... YOU

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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I like turtoes.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

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What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

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Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

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Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Mark Mark who? Mark Jennings. Oh hey, Mark, come in.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady who got hit by a bus.

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roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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