the WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many Mexicans can you fit in a Smart car? None. It's too damn small!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is brown and sticky? A masturbating Negro.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's black, white and red all over? Multi- racial genocide.

thumb_up thumb_down -194

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the Black construction worker say to the Asian salesman? I want some milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the black man jump off a cliff? He's been emotionally unstable ever since he witnessed the brutal murder of his parents as a child and could no longer live with himself, so he decided to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red Violets are blue This font is black You smell like shit

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the same about fries chicken and watermelon? There both delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender then asks him "Why the long face?" The horse then gives the bartender an unwilling look as he walks to the other side of the bar where several people leave due to potential danger in the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was DEAD!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a mushroom walks in to a little boys party the boy says why are u here mushroom says because im a fun-guy (fungis,fungi)

thumb_up thumb_down +32

knock knock whos there ben ben who ben ages since i seen you !!! vote this up please or a unicorn will die , unicorns are not real , but a moth can ride bikes so please vote this down

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happen to Teenage Mutain ninja turtals? Go Ninja Go.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops