PEANIS!

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Wanna hear a bathroom joke? YOU TRYIN' TO KILL US?!?

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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ask me if im a door yes

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

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Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

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A man with no face walks into a bar, another man sees this and promptly asks "Sir, why do you have no face?" The first man says nothing and walks away.

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What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

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Susie has Autism

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Who hangs out with a girl all day every day while he's dating her for 4 months and still doesn't get his wiener touched. Adam claypool

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

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Why did the fat kid drop his Mcdonalds? Because he had a stroke.

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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Why did the man cry when he was surrounded by black men? He got a call saying his mother had just died.

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Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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What is more addictive than World Of Warcraft? Heroin

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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