What did the Penis say to the Condom? Nothing. The human organ is not able to talk to another inanimate object, therefore it's impossible.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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A black guy pulls into a KFC drive thru and orders some chicken. The cashier tells him that they are out of chicken, so the black goes to McDonald's instead.

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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n i g g e r s a r e f u c k i n g c h i n k y f a g s

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What do u get when u mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A-lick-alot-a-puss

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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What do you call a black man running with a TV? A hard working individual who is in a rush to watch his new TV that he bought.

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what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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How did the cat die of indigestion? Indigestion

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How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What is the best part about being in bed with twenty eight year olds? There are twenty of them

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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A woman fell victim to nasty car accident. Her injuries were very grave. The doctors warned her family that she had two hours to live. She died two hours later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops