Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock (No response) Knock knock (No response)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the mentally retarded man say to the Waiter who brought him his soup? Thanks for bringing me my soup.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the book fly to Cambodia? It was on a plane that was delivering educational material to third world countries to enhance their schools and increase their literacy.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Dear 6, Please stop hitting on me, I heard you've done some pretty dirty stuff with 9. Sincerely, 7

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -14

penis

thumb_up thumb_down -6

wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

thumb_up thumb_down -28

you know its foggy outside when you step outside and its foggy outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Banana wrote this...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man walks into a bar and says, "ouch."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

4 is half the number 8 is.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a man who beats his adopted, black children? A terrible person.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

yo mamma so fat when she seen a stop sigh she ate it

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops