How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

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whats worse than the holocaust??? finding it in your apple

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why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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women's lacrosse.

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Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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Knock knock. Nobody answers because the homeowner was out of the house at the time.

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What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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What's 9 +10 19

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Your mom.

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Do you think retarded people know that they are retarded? I don't know, you tell me. Wait a second....did you just call me retarded? They are clueless.

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

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I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus doesn't exist. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid, you're standing right next to me!"

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? Well, one consists of two inanimate objects (a bucket and feces) and the other is a human being of African/African-American descent. As you can see there really is no real comparison here.

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He do you get an emo kid to stop cutting himself? Take away his knife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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