A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

Why did Jill come "tumbling" down the hill after Jack broke his crown? She fell running on a hill, essentially why Jack broke his crown.

YO momma is so fat she suffers from cardiovascular illnesses.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

Three blind men walk into a bar but they were unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from them would be exploitative.

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................a gay baby was just born.

Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

What's a rabbit's favourite food? No-one knows, like humans, every rabbit has it's own favourite food.

Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

How can you tell if a duck is watching you? Look at its eyes

Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

The chicken crossed the road.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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