Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

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A straight man walks into a gay bar and is amazed by the amount of fun he has and how cool people can be when you don't judge someone based on sexual preference or your own religious beliefs.

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How did two Jews react when they saw a quarter on the sidewalk? They agreed to donate it to charity.

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3 ducks are sitting in a pond. one with blonde feathers. one with brown feathers, and one with white feathers. A Transvestite Inbred Donkey Man kills them instantly.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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What do you call a naked black person? A black guy

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

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A peice of dust floats into a bar. Its a peice of dust so no one notices it.

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Icecream

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Knock Knock Who's there? Somebody who wants to come in.

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Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he felt like it.

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"What was the hardest thing about that kid getting killed by that bus." "What?" "My dick"

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What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

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Are you a homophobe? No I'm straight. ,.

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You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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A priest and a prostitute are sitting next to each other on a bus. The priest asks her what she does, and she says "I sell my body to strange men." The priest then explains to her about Christianity, and she gives up her ways and becomes a devout Christian.

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Whats worse than having no mother? Having no mother and father, enabling you to have to support a family at the age of 12, using the allowance that your parents are supposed to give you once a week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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