What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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josh simpson has cancer

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

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What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

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Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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amy copied adams haircut :0

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

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Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

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A fish walks into a bar

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What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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Small breasts.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

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Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

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Once upon a time, there was boy. I saw this boy. So I sat on him.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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