How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7... Because 7 raped her little sister

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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What's worse than forgetting a punchline?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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Go away.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

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Why did Donald Duck go to college? He didn't, he's a fictional cartoon character.

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Golf.

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Shit.

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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A women gets on a bus, the bus driver says 'that is the ugliest baby i have ever seen!' the women pays for her ticket and sits on one of the seats while the bus pulls off.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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