A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

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Q: What happened to the dead baby? A: It was Buried

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What's the difference between a hippopotamus? An orangutan.

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An asian is driving a car. He observes the speed limit and uses his turning signals while switching lanes.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf which impairs the ability to register sights and sounds necessary to operate an automobile.

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Why was the Mexican socially inept. Because he hadn't recieved a good education

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How do you make a fireman cry??? Kill His Family

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What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

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"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

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Membean

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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Yo momma so stupid when I said drinks are on the house she went and got a ladder

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 24

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What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

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Q:What do you get when you mix a tiger and a panda? A:nothing, its impossible

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Back when I was your age, we had to entertain ourselves with video games and TV.

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roses aren't red, violets aren't blue, they're all black, cause i'm colorblind. what about you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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