Roses are red Violets are blue NO SHIT EINSTEIN!

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Tits In The Third Grade? A. Because She Was 21

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When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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an ant walks into my aunt.... the ant took a dump

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There I no road.

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What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

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what do u call a black person by his name

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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Shit Happens....or sometimes it doesn't! As the person is taken to the hospital with severe constipation.

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A man wearing a chicken t-shirt and holding a pair of dentures walks into the Youtube headquarters, then immediately walks out in fear of getting a copyright strike.

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Why was Helen Keller a terrible driver? She was a woman.

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What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

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I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

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Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

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I saw a coin one day but never picked it up. It was still there the next day and then the day after that when it was still there I saw a girl being sick on it...

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What is pink and smells like red paint? Pink paint

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How do you stop a bus You throw a fridge at it

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Roses are red Violets are blue i cant ryme or spell.

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The Cubs are going to win the world series this year

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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