Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

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A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

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How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

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What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

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Knock knock. Who's there. Alex. Alex who? Your brother Alex. Oh, please come in.

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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Knock knock Who's there? No Who is over there

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Coffee just isn't his cup of tea.

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what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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" ding dong " person in side: wait aren't u supposed to knock knock

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? Because she was shot in the face by a lone gunman.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Knock Knock! Well come on in!

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? No. You don't need to, it's quite inappropriate.

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

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Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

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Knock knock Who's there? I eat myp.

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What did my Grandmother get for Christmas? Alzheimer's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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