why did the older man give candy to the little kids? he was in a parade

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Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

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How do you know a French guy has been in your back yard? Your thrash cans are empty and your dog's pregnant

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Their ancestral heritage

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Knock, knock. Who's there? You. You who? You should be drug out into the street and shot. Whoever you are, I will find you.

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the top 6 dictators who have died this year Moammar Gadhafi Kim Jong IL Osama bin ladden Saddam Husein Steve jobs Internet Explorer

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Whats white and sticky and falls from the sky? The Cumming of the lord

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How many beavers can you fit in one paddling pool? None; it's probably very dangerous trying

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what did Harry Potter get for christmas? ... nothing his parents are dead !

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Why did the polar bear cross the road? He didn't, there are no roads in Antarctica.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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knock, knock... no one replies and it becomes obvious that no one is in the house.

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Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? It is rapidly becoming outdated and most cellphones these days have the time, but if they like the style they are free to use one.

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An ordinary man, much like your friend Brad from that one place where you used to hang out, was walking along one night, much like that night last week, and saw a star. He then wished upon that star...and kept walking.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Pete and repeat were on a boat. Repeat fell off, who was left?

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What do you call a dumb blonde with no hair? You don't, since there is no way of knowing that she is blonde.

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a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

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holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

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25

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1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

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What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

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A horse walks into a bar. Being unable to comprehend human emotion, he shits all over the floor.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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