Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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Q: What is 2 + 2? A: Beastiality

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please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

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What did the dog say to the mouse? Cat

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Why is Adam saying numbers? He is a maths teacher.

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What do you call a black girl scout? A brownie

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Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

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A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

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Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

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Why did the Asian eat rice? Because its food

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Q: What's worse than the holocaust? A: 2 Holocausts

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Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

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What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

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what do you call a joke that is not a joke? not a joke

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What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

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What did the Black guy, the Asian, and the White guy have in common? they were all brutally murdered.

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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Harry Styles

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Q: How do you get 1000 babies into a bucket? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

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Heil Hitler!!!!!! Why thankyou General Himmler. Would you care to join me for supper this evening?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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