How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like there's two of me! There's not. Your long lost twin died of terminal cancer.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

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Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

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How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? A testicle

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What's worse than AIDS? Buying the anti-joke book

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What do you get when a bulldog and shitzu reproduce? A litter of extremely cute puppies.

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

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What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

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Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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Whats horny and big A dick minus the big part!

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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