Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H20" and the second one says, "I'll have some H20 too." The second scientist dies after drinking hydrogen peroxide.

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who looks like justin bieber and is really cool? george darling but i lied about him being cool.

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How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

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Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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What do you call a pair of owls? Two owls.

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Knock knock.. Whos there? To... To who? To whom.

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I said I hate niiggers

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Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

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Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

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why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

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it depressed me to be diagnosed with depression

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What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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Hey could I ask you a question? Yes Thanks

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Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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What did Chuck Norris say when he saw a cop -Hi

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Your mommas so fat, that she's really big.

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I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

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Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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