What did the kid with no brain get for his birthday? Nothing because nobody thought that he would do anything with the toys because he couldn't think of what to do with them.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

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My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

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Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

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Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

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Roses are red Violates are blue Go to hell I hate you

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What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town? Look, here comes Tarzan! What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town with sunglasses on? Nothing. They don't recognize him.

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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you know whats not funny? the Holocaust

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women's rights.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! I won the battle but lost the war: I'm Donald Trump!

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What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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TIMMAH!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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