What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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what's the worst thing ever? reality TV shows and singing contest shows

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Justin's hair

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Why do people eat babies? Because they're delicious.

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I like dogs. Lots of dogs. Meow.

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Q: Why is my friend gay? A: Because i slept with him.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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Knock knock Who is there Banana Banana who Knock knock Who's there Banana Banana who Knock knock WHO'S THERE orange ...orange who Orange you glad I'm a cop here to tell you your family died in a horrible mask murdering and didn't say bannana again?

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Janey Had her first kiss with Jonny. Jonny choked on her ridiculously large was of gum and died.

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What do you call a bear with no fur? A taco.

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What do you get when you cross a hippo with a dishwasher? 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? "Robin, get in the car."

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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If strippers are exotic dancers then drug dealers are to exotic pharmacists.

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TWATFROST HOLOCOSTME sOME MONEY TO GET A BOOB JOB HAHAHAHA BALOWJOB

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What's blue and can't sing? Blue.

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Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Why is Kyle so gay. Nobody knows

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Whats the most common use of a butt plug after school? In the sport of pole vaultIng, the butt plug is the rubber end of the pole that is designed to withstand the force of being planted in a steel box.

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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What is a cow's favorite drink? Well, I could be wrong and this is just my opinion, but I do not believe that animals experience feelings and, in corollary, favoritism towards anything, particularly regarding basic survival needs, such as hydration.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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