Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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"Free to play" Play free "right now"

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Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? You eat a pizza.

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What is something you would not normally find in a china cabinet? Japan

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What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

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text your mom saying you need help, then turn on vibrate and shove the phone up your ass.

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Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

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Q: Why did the Japanese man fall off the cliff? A: He was pushed

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What goes good with coca cola? Thirst

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- What is worse than a baby in a trash bin ? - A baby in five trash bins.

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matt f stupid because no one likes him

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why did the girl break up with her boyfriend? hes gay

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Your mother is a very respectable woman.

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Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

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Q:Why did the cop arrest the black guy with a gun? A: because he shot a family and when the funeral was held he cooked a grenade killed everyone and peed on there grave, later he rapped two dogs and stabbed a crippled then tea bagged a horse to death.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says"What do u want?" The ducks replays "EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING!!!" The bartender slaps the duck in its face and quid his job. The bar has a hard time finding a replacement and his business dies. THE END

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

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a black kid goes and gets some cereal and spills some flower on him self and he goes to his grandma and says look grandma i`m white and then she slaps him he goes to his grandpa and says look grandpa i`m white and then he slaps him and then he goes to his mom and then says look mom i`m white and then she slaps him then he goes to his dad and then says dad i`ve been white for 20 minutes and i all ready hate yall nigas

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Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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Would you believe me if i said... ^^^^ You read that line wrong?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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