A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

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What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

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A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

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i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One. This task does not require over 1 person to complete.

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Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? You hit it in the face with an axe.

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Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

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Where do fat girls go to eat doughnuts? Jenny Craig

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had several drinks, conversed animatedly, and heartily enjoyed themselves.

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What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

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What is more dangerous than heroine? T.J. Lane

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Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

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Harry Styles

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Give me thumbs up!

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What do you say to man with no hands. How do you feel.

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Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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What did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

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Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Q: Why do so many people write "So a man walked into a bar" A: Because they lack the intellect to think of something creative, and still other peoples material.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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