What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

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Why was the boy's face red? He put his cat in a blender.

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Can a man reproduce with only one testicle? No because girls don't dig that sh*t

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your dad's gay. just let that sink in.

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What did the doctor say to the young boy? We only planned on a annual checkup but have discovered that your and aids baby and only have 3 days to live. Tell your family members goodbye you'll be on life support in the next couple hours.

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Why did the penguin die? due to an increase in the quantity of greenhouse gases that are being released into the atmosphere, global warming is on the rise. So the penguin died because his home melted.

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What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

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Darkness Falls Across The Land The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Getting Down Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver For No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

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Q: What is a man? A: A miserable little pile of secrets.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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At least I dont have AIDS.

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

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What has four wheels and smells like an asshole? YOU.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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Knock. Knock Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your best friend.

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Knock knock. Whose there? Not my house so not my problem. Frankly, I don't give a shit.

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What did the boy say during his math test? Nothing, talking during a test is prohibited.

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What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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