a gay couple walks into a bar and get a drink

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Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

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Q: What do you do when you meet someone new? A: You don`t know and expect me to do so? Get a life!

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Why didnt john feel like fis n chips? he had a bus stuck up his ars

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What happen when you put a Ciara and a Charlie together? They have sex.

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Your momma's so stupid, her IQ is below average.

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What the did the man say to his boss? You are my boss.

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If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

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Why couldn't the blonde bride make it to her own wedding? She had another unplanned circumstance occur and the wedding was postponed until next week.

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Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

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How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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who is mark

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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So like i was like 3 and I was like stupid or something I was only three, come on! three

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Guess what my grandma told me yesterday.. Nothing she's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

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whats worse than getting no gifts for christmas? getting hit by a bus for christmas

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Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

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Have you ever seen Hellen Keller's house? Well it was really nice.

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A Christian walks in into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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When life gives you lemons, thank life for its generosity.

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How do giant spiders like to spend their weekends? Eating Orphans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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