my eyes hurt from what? being open too much

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how did the tree fall on the woman? it didnt, trees dont grow in kitchens

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's who? Knock knock!

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Q: What's worse than finding 1 worm in your apple? A: Finding 2 worms in your apple Q: What's worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? A: The Holocaust Q: What's worse than the Holocaust? A: Finding 3 worms in your apple!

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

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Why did the fat guy survive the plain crash He didn't he died like everyone else

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Whats hard and long? An erect penile shaft.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Probably

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How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

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I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

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Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

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Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

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i like my women like i like my coffee without a penis

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? ... ... He committed suicide for the simple reason that the soviet and allied forces were closing in on him and he knew that he did not stand a chance of winning the war.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

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I have a joke. Okay, tell me. Just kidding

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

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What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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