Why did thw chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

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Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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Knoc nock whos dere ronnie turiaf...... Ronnie turiaf who Dennis rodman

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How do you know this is an Antijoke? Its on anti-joke.com

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When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

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what's white and sticky? mayonnaise.

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Curiosity killed the cat! No, the tire of a vehicle did.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

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If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? She didn't, women belong in the kitchen.

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What does Spiderman do everyday? Aunt May

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What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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Why was the man called Big Larry? His name was Larry and he was morbidly obese.

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what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

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What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

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Your mother is a stupid bitch. For real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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