- Anti Joke

What makes a good jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin

Yo momma so stupid when I said drinks are on the house she went and got a ladder

A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

what did the ginger say to the other ginger? I dont now i dont speak GINGER!!!

What's better than being in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

Q:If an apple and an orange had a politicial debate, what would it concern? A:Nothing important.

Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

Jews

Roses are Black Violets are Black I am color blind.

A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a protocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "We don't serve their kind here! They'll have to wait outside. We don't want them here." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Listen, why don't you wait out by the speeder. We don't want any trouble."

So what makes you that much adaptable? I get the feeling I should get this by now.

Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

why was 6 afraid of 7?

Near the tower of London, a woman says to her friend: "You know, I had a feeling my son would come out, and the other day, he did." "What was your first clue?" "We're British."

I'll be back. Please use the door.

What's the resemblance between a chicken? Its legs are approximately equal, especially the left one.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles roll ed into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’ The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.. ‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn. Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled.... And than he shove all the items up his ass

What has three eyes, scales, seventeen stomachs, and can produce milk? Nothing. Nature has not yet evolved any animal to these specifications.

A man walks into a bar... who cares what happens after that Charlie Sheen is winning and Osama Bin Laden is dead

Why can't a blonde woman drive? because she was shot in both legs and cannot operate the pedals without extreme pain.

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

whats the difference between black people and dogs? people actually care when something happens to a dog

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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