Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your mum. Your mum who? Dinner is ready, come down stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walked into a Persian dentist office. After a few hours he leaves the office with his mouth feeling much better because the oral-surgery went exeptionally well.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What does a Jewish Santa Clause say? This scenario is highly improbable as Jews celebrate Hanukkah and not Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened to the boy who cried wolf? He was brutally raped and killed, Inglewood is really not a place you want your children growing up.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock. Who's there? (a police officer steps in and says): What is red and green and peed all over? I dont know Im sorry to say, but its your mother. A group of teens killed her and defiled her body with urine. She was wearing green.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: what did a kid in harlem get for christmas? A: nothing he got shot

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hitler said "Jew mad?" I did nazi that coming !

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I was reading this book one time..... and my imagination took me away to many lands and times.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

E= McVagina

thumb_up thumb_down -4

knock knock - "who's there" - "i'm a escaped convict who's here to murder you and rob your house" - "Well come in the doors already open"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Five Mexicans were driving down the motorway in a Ford. Must've been a Fiesta.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the kid say when he fell of a cliff and met Tom jones? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What has four legs, and smells when it's wet? A wet dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q.When is a dog, not a dog? A. never

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops